What Is Your Marriage-Sign!!!

What Is Your Marriage-Sign!!!

When we, family of 3, shifted to Chennai….so called…conservative place to be in….in mid 90’s…..welcomed by hot & humid climate, and some gud neighbours, who though accepted us in their neighbourhood….but somehow cud not hold back their curiosities over a North Indian’s living style, food habits, family relationships, religious backgrounds…list is endless.

Initially, they started throwing smiles…then waving…then some how one of them got a chance to speak to me, while buying vegetables from the vendor in our complex. After initial pleasantries exchanged…..

She : I am “§ “!! R U Punjabi?

Me: Yes!!

She: Sikh?

Me: No delhi Punjabi, I mean Mona Punjabi/hindu Punjabi!!

She: OHHH. So u r just 3 in the family.

Me: Yeah!!

She: Urs is a love marriage?

Me: NO (totally shocked)!! Why? In fact its totally arranged, I saw him on my engagement day only!!

She: Just like that!!

Then we just waved bye and went off…

Some times later, same female, who was a regular caller and talker, introduced me to some other nice ones…and then one day she asked me ..Do u have ur marriage album/fotos??

Yes, come in, and have a look!! I replied.

She called more 2 neighbours and they started going thru the albums….commenting sometimes in english & sometimes in tamil….though I was in kitchen prep tea for all of us…I cud hear their whisperings…they were arguing or discussing, I wasn’t so sure…but kept myself at ease, with a smiling face and tea I entered the living room and here …all of them showed some confused smile….I was uncomfortable at my own place & that too becoz of some new neighbours…I gave them a questioning look….

.I started explaining our 5 day long Punjabi marriage ceremonies... slowly one asked….What is ur marriage sign/mark?….

.I said, He is putting Sindoor in my hair parting na…that’s!

But now no sindoor ?

That doesn’t go with my western clothes,so I didn’t use it, but when I wear saree then I do.. and more so I am allergic to sindoor, so...

No, no, I am asking about any sign or mark u carry along always…

.I was confused by now!!.

She told me, see, I am wearing this yellow thread with this pendant called ” thaali “ always which my husband tied on my marriage day. When u r getting married u r wearing everything,and now nothing, how it can be?

Then I remarked,with lit bit proud tone, We, north Indians don’t have any restrictions like that!!

No, I have seen even Bengalis wear one red and white bangle called some “shankha pola” and even Maharashtrians wear black beads “mangalsutra”, what is urs?

But, didi, I don’t have any thing on my body like that!! No mangalsutra, no toe rings, no sindoor, no bangles, no thread!!! But see, just now all of u saw my marriage photos na, with the same man, with whom I am here, so He is my man, me married to Him & not to any materialistic thing!!

But, to my utter surprise, no one was seemed contented with my reply, still desperate...still curious...

Then, all of a sudden, I gave them some accomplished smile, took one sip of my tea & popped in one cashew, and said:

See, u all saw my snaps, all the rituals & ceremonies, but did u notice that time I didn’t have this much big Tummy…I mean so big and ever protruding…so this is my marriage sign/mark…My Tummy !!! This I am going to carry always!!! And which of course I got after my marriage only!! I am a mom!!!

Total silence for a min, followed by a hearty laughter…..one lady said, Punjabis r very frank and happy community!! I took the remark whole heartedly.

Then I told them, we north Indians don’t wear lipstick, red bindi, gold bangles, or gold necklaces b4 marriage…so these r considered to be our marriage signs., though we change them after sometime….& alas, somehow made them feel that I am also an Indian, & not out of its culture.

But, now, scene is changed, now if someone asked me..then how can I reply!! Now a days all r getting big big tummies without entering into the institution of marriage!!! Any suggestions here???

For me, its same, & credit goes to my system with net, & BLOGS!!!

Well nothing momentous comes to mind, but I think even the most trivial things you go through in life contribute to your growth as a person!!

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